An accident happened on the bus I was ridding on my way home. Someone the bus driver did not let go onto the bus because he refused to wave his card to pay the ride throw a rock towards one of the windows when the bus was in motion. Obviously, the windows broke inside…
Moments before, a lady from a Cancer association had just gotten up to sell some handcraft made by herself to pay for her morphine. She was going through the 4th phase of her cancer; the one in which they can’t do anything else but to try to ease their pain with morphine because they cancer has already gone too far.
I bought the Dreams Fairy in the picture. And I was talking to her when the rock broke the window. We had to certainly leave the bus and wait for another one.
I met cancer in own flesh not long ago. None of the members of my family has ever gone through it, but someone really close to me actually did. I learnt from it. I understood it. And, further on and above everything, I respected it as it is. Not that I didn’t do it before, but let’s gather our minds that when we haven’t lived something we never know how it feels… until it happens to you.
I’ve always thought, since I was in little, that there is only one kind of love. Love, for me, is an energy. You can’t create it; you can’t destroy it. It only changes. And there is nothing like our parents love, or our significant other’s love, or the love we feel for our pets. And, according to me, it is because in all of the above, there is a living being involved. We love because we care, because these beings are part of our daily life and every one of them make a small part of our spirit. Love is everything we keep inside our hearts. Our memories, or fears, our lovers, our wishes.
And I looked at this lady in the eyes and I saw so much redemption. Absolution. She was telling me all about her efforts to survive life. To go beyond. To keep all her love as it is. She did not look sad whatsoever. She was even enthusiastic about riding a bus at 11pm at night to sell dolls, in order for her to get some money to at least, calm her pain down. She even said it was good, because all the energy she received from all the people she talks to… keeps her alive.
Everything is so fragile. And we never know what is life going to bring up to our days. And as much as we see our eyes glow in joy we see them weep in sorrow. And I wept. I wept because it took my breath away. Thousands of flashbacks and images and sounds and voices and words and hugs and held hands and just gazes came into my mind in a second. All the love. All the pure love a man’s heart can keep inside. And it is so terrible, and sad, and devastating when we see our beloved people suffering. Or overwhelmed… Or leaving without saying goodbye.
I do believe the 3 most important things in life are said in 8 letter only. Thank you, I am sorry and I love you. But I do have the feeling, those are the most difficult things to say.
Today, I want to thank. To thank for all that I have. All that I’ve gotten. For all that I truly keep in my heart with love. Even though it’s regardless to the rest of you. Even though some of you may harm it. Even though some of you do not understand nor respect the precious that love is. The love that somebody else is feeling in their souls. To thank life. To thank life for bringing me all I’ve lived. Everything. Even though seeing love, in all its expressions, walk away in the moment we need them the most. To see them leaving for them not to be reachable anymore. To see them dead and everlastingly missing at the bottom of our hearts.
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I gave the fairy to my mother. The lady on the bus told me she had to put in above her head in bed for the fairy to look after her dreams. I really hope the fairy, at least once in a while, visits me at night moving her pink wings over my head and touches me with all the pure love anybody could ever feel.
Never disrespect love. Nor yours, nor somebody else’s. Because, after all, Love is the energy that makes us alive every time the sun rises and shine.
[ Jack Lives Here ] 